Networking Now:

Experienced networkers know that the fastest way to expand and enhance their network is to regularly attend gatherings where networking takes place. Having many people with overlapping interests within arm’s reach facilitates the process of making connections based on mutual benefit.

While flipping recently through Masters of Networking, a book I released back in 2000, I ran across an article contributed by my friends Cindy Mount and Jeremy Allen. The article outlines a great, six-part foundation for success at networking events, so I thought I’d share their outline with all of you here.

Attending the Networking Event

As every good networker knows, one of the fastest ways to grow your business quickly and successfully is through word-of-mouth marketing. That’s the fundamental reason networkers attend networking events. And people who have made a science of systematic networking keep six essentials in mind. Each time they attend an event, they have 1. a purpose, 2. a goal and 3. a plan, and they make sure to 4. execute the plan, 5.  evaluate their efforts and 6. follow up on all contacts.

1. Purpose

What’s your reason for attending the event? Do you expect to show up, shake hands and exchange business cards just to be sociable? No . . . your reason for being at the event should be because you see networking as a complete philosophy of doing business and living your life, and because you see that helping others is the best route to helping yourself. Keep this in mind at all times.

2. Goal

What is your destination? What do you need to accomplish at the event? What do you expect the outcome to be? How many contacts do you need, and in what kind of businesses? Do you need to become a gatekeeper as a step in obtaining your desired outcome? Think of professions, trades or business owners who would most likely hear of or see people who need your service or products, and target these people for your networking efforts.

3. Plan

Once you know your destination, you need a map to show you how to get there. A good networking plan will include these things:

Research. Whom do you have to meet? Where do they have lunch? What do their company’s annual plans say? What are some of the trends within your target industry?

Competition. Who are your competitors? What is their market share, and how much market share do you expect to capture? What edge does your competition have? What are your strengths and advantages?

Resources. What resources do you need, and where will you get them? Do you need guidance? Are your listening skills good enough to get you your money’s worth?

Backup. Do you need to recruit new contacts or associates who can take over some of your duties or help you reach your goals faster?

Schedule. How much time have you given yourself to achieve your goals? Do you have contingency plans in case you encounter problems along the way?

4. Execution

Plans don’t work unless they’re implemented. To be successful, you must begin executing your plan. Use a time management planner and project organizer that can show you a week at a glance. Mark dates when you expect certain results, then work backward to monthly, weekly and daily completion of specific objectives.

5. Evaluation

As you reach each checkpoint in your plan, stop and evaluate your results. If you find that a particular networking group is not meeting your goals, adjust your plans. You may need a new way to work the group, or you may need a new group. You may also need to consider learning a new skill or getting some help to meet your goals.

6. Follow-Up

Make complete notes on everybody you meet, keep their business cards and brochures handy, and think about the potential of each new contact you’ve made. Begin making appointments to meet and work with these contacts as soon as practical. Don’t let a recent introduction grow cold and be forgotten.

The key word in “networking” is “work.” It takes time, effort and patience, but the payoff of powerful networking will be a personal marketing strategy that accelerates the achievement of your goals.

The fact is, people like to be treated in the manner to which they are most accustomed. If we understand people better, we can understand not only how to connect with them when networking, but also how to sell to them as customers. We get more insight into why they buy, when they buy, who they buy from and what they like to buy.

The study of personality types has long been of interest to psychologists, and one model that has stood the test of time was initially described by William Moulton Marston, Ph.D., in 1928. His early work with personality/behavioral types led to the DISC behavior profiling system, which outlines how a specific behavioral style can predict reactions to different selling and social situations.

Dani Johnson, an internationally known speaker and sales trainer whose clients regularly achieve high incomes, modified the DISC system to one called GEMS. GEMS enables us to easily differentiate a valuable contribution made by four distinct personality profiles. Dani holds her “First Steps to Success” GEMS training program around the world, and the Referral Institute offers an eight-hour program that incorporates GEMS training with referral marketing.

Here’s a brief peek at each GEM in Dani Johnson’s system:

RUBIES are risk takers, go-getters, and they like challenges. They like to win, be right and are fast-paced. They need control and authority and thrive on commission. Their bottom-line approach helps them make quick buying decisions. Sellers, be prepared.

SAPPHIRES are stimulating, enthusiastic, on-the-go people. They like fun, being the center of attention and receiving tons of recognition. Enjoying people, influencing others’ decisions and being popular is their style. Skip the details with them; they just make the buying process easy, fun, spontaneous.

PEARLS are patient, relational and incredibly harmonious. The quality time they spend with others is seen as supportive. Their relationships are longstanding and oriented to helping the team. Don’t push them from their low-key approach, or your sales style will overwhelm and scare them away.

EMERALDS are effective, thorough and detail-oriented. Their behavior of following rules, collecting data and completing tasks pushes them toward excellence. These are the detail people who need to carefully conduct their research before making a buying decision.

Every networking event and sales appointment is like going into a jewelry store. There are lots of GEMS around, and you just have to identify what type he or she is and polish them just the right way . . . the way that brings forth the most luster.

Learn what a RUBY, a SAPPHIRE, a PEARL and an EMERALD client expects from you, the seller, and you’ll enjoy buyers who feel compelled to buy from you and refer to you.

Whenever I turn on the news these days, it seems the media are pushing all of us to embrace a scarcity mentality. Embracing a scarcity mentality, however, will get you nowhere; there couldn’t be anything more pointless and counterproductive than to let your thoughts focus on lack and worry.

Because of this, I’d like to explain a much more valuable concept–the concept of AQ (Abundance Intelligence™) which my good friend Kim George introduced in her 2006 book Coaching into Greatness: 4 Steps to Success in Business and Life. AQ is different from IQ (intelligence quotient) in that we measure a person’s ability to perform at his or her optimal level consistently and authentically.

AQ measures masterful people by their prevalence of abundance aptitudes, patterns and beliefs. Successful people of all types have a high AQ. They believe there’s more than enough to go around and that the proverbial glass is not only half full but overflowing. They accept that life is not always easy and doesn’t always follow the straight and convenient path, but they don’t fight changes in the world or the economy. Instead, they adapt to those changes.

Based on Kim’s in-depth work with hundreds of business owners, here are seven key aptitudes you should adopt to gain a high abundance intelligence and resist being bogged down by a scarcity mentality:

1. Self-worth. Abundant people understand their uniqueness and how they add value to their customers, their networking partners and others in their lives.

2. Empathy. Abundant people do their best to understand and serve their customers in any given situation, and they sustain themselves through tough times by networking with supportive friends who are able to provide reciprocal support empathically .

3. Self-expression. Abundant people are convinced that they are the best with whom to do business and they retain a professional posture of sticking to their personal standards, which pulls people to them.

4. Actualization. Abundunt people don’t sit on the sidelines waiting for things to happen. They take action consistent with their skills and talents. They accept responsibility for their actions and don’t blame others for shortcomings. If they face a barrier, they ask for help and support to find an acceptable solution for all sides. They comfortably give and receive.

5. Significance. Abundant people are confident about their uniqueness, knowing they are the best person for a particular job. They demonstrate self-confidence when asking for business, building their social capital and following up.

6. Surrender. Abundant people don’t view surrender as a form of weakness, rather a sign of letting go of old habits, attitudes and behaviors that don’t serve them in a healthy way. They see potential opportunity in everything that passes by.

7. Inquiry. High Abundance Intelligence means high openness to other points of view. Uncertainty is a reason to thrive and be curious. Security in their curious and creative aptitude enables abundant people to move through all challenging situations. Learning while acting keeps them growing and improving while being pioneers in their industry.

Work the above characteristics into your own persona. Each of these abundant aptitudes contributes to purposeful actions and a well-defined goal orientation to the effort. Instead of being derailed by worrying about the past or the future, you will find inspiration and forward momentum in your immediate surroundings.

At a recent networking event, a woman approached me and told me that she had heard of BNI and was interested in joining a chapter but explained that she was hesitant based on an experience she had recently when she attended a meeting of another local networking group.  She had been very put off by the attitude and the comments of the meeting’s apparent leader.  Being new to networking, the meeting was the first of its kind that this woman, an esthetician, had ever attended and she said that she had expected something very different.

She had been told the networking group she was going to meet with was filled with positive, welcoming people who would be as interested in learning to help her promote her business as she was in learning to help them promote theirs.  What she found upon arrival, however, was that very few people took any interest in her at all because most were busy socializing in clusters reminiscent of high school cliques.  Then, to start the meeting, the group’s leader stood up and announced that he was in a crabby mood and urged everyone to find their seats quickly.  As soon as she sat down, a member of the group informed her that she needed to move because she was sitting in “his seat.”  Needless to say, she got up and, instead of finding another seat, headed out the door.

I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve heard of an occurrence like this but, unfortunately, it’s not.  When a networking group doesn’t have strong, positive leadership to set a good example and enforce structure, the group runs the risk of turning into nothing more than a coffee klatch.  I encouraged the esthetician to seek out her local BNI chapter despite her bad experience with the other networking group and ensured that she would have a much better experience simply based on the difference in leadership.  Groups follow the example of their leaders and in the situation of the networking group this woman visited, the leadership set a very bad example and the group members followed suit.

The fact holds true that whether you’re talking about networking, business or life, people will follow the example of those in leadership roles, which means it’s imperative for leaders to be wise, positive and solutions-focused.  One of the most important aspects of a good networking group is the leadership team that runs the meeting.  These individuals should be chosen based on their ability to size up any situation, point in the direction that’s best for the group and lead the group toward the most positive path–they recognize the importance of leadership and the domino effect that both bad and good leadership can have.

Leaders, in any aspect of life, set the tone for how other people following their example will act. I encourage every one of you reading this, whether you’re in a networking group or not, to remember that whether or not you’re in a recognized leadership role, people are always observing you.  If the leaders in your life aren’t setting a good example, why not step up and act as a leader yourself?  If one or two members of the “high school clique” networking group mentioned above had done this, other members of the group might’ve followed their lead and the esthetician might not have walked out with such a negative view of all of them.

If you have any stories about how you stepped up and became a leader when those in leadership positions were lacking, I’d love to hear them.  Please leave a comment.

Membership in a good networking group can be worth a considerable amount of money. Especially if you calculate the time you spend each month and the business value of your time. Make your time and efforts worthwhile. Don’t squander your opportunity by doing the wrong things in those meetings!

Success in a networking group comes when the rest of the group members trust you enough to open up their best referrals to you. Until they’ve seen your work, you have to earn that trust by demonstrating your professionalism to them. Since I founded BNI almost 25 years ago, I’ve seen how people have truly succeeded in networks–and I’ve seen how people have totally wasted their time in them.

Here are the top 10 ways to waste your time in a networking group (avoid all of them):

No. 10. Go ahead, air your grievances among your fellow networkers and guests; after all, they really want to hear about your complaints.

No. 9. Wing it in your 60-second presentations; you’ve got plenty more chances anyway.

No. 8. Use one-to-one meetings to talk about your networking group’s issues instead of learning a lot more about each other.

No. 7. Focus your efforts on selling your services primarily to the members of the group.

No. 6. Don’t rush following up on a member’s referral. They know where you are.

No. 5. Use others’ 60-second presentation time to think about what referrals you can give that week.

No. 4. Why invite your own guests? Just focus on those who show up.

No. 3. Don’t worry if you get to the meeting late. No one will notice.

No. 2. Be absent; it’s no big deal. You can just call in your referrals . . . right?

And the No. 1 way to waste your time in networking groups . . .

No. 1. It’s OK, take that phone call or text message during a meeting. It won’t bother anyone, and it’s a real sign of professionalism that everyone admires.

So there it is–The Top 10 Ways to Waste Your Time in a Networking Group! Print this out. Memorize it. Share it with your fellow networking members. Above all–avoid these mistakes! You’ll get a lot more out of your group and so will your fellow members.

I’d love to hear some more ways that are big time wasters in a networking group. Please leave your comments below. Let’s add to this list.

Oh, and to visit a good networking group in your area, feel free to Click here.

When my daughter Cassie was only 10 years old, she made a little stick man, which she named “Bob,” from a small piece of red pipe cleaner and gave him to me. That’s Bob and me to the right by the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, last year.

Why is Bob in a picture with me, halfway across the world from my home, eight years after Cassie originally gave him to me?

Well, it all started when one of my business trips prevented me from attending a Girl Scout event that Cassie was participating in. I felt bad that I couldn’t make the event, so I took a photo of Bob and myself in the mirror at the hotel and sent it to Cassie, telling her Bob and I were thinking about her and congratulating her on her achievement. She liked it so much that I started sending photos of Bob whenever I could.

Throughout the years of travel, I have always stowed Bob safely in my briefcase and, whenever possible, I have someone take a picture of the two of us to send back to Cassie.  More often than not, I can immediately see what the heck is this guy’s deal? written across people’s faces when I ask if they’d mind taking a picture. Once I explain what the photo is for, however, it’s amazing how people’s responses change.

You see, one of the great things about running a successful international business is that you get to travel a lot. Yet one of the really bad things about running a successful international business is that you have to travel a lot . . . when you have small children, that can be a real challenge. People, especially those with children of their own, understand that. So when I explain the purpose of taking a picture with a goofy little man made out of pipe cleaner, people realize I’m not actually nuts after all and that Bob is really a family tradition that keeps me connected to my daughter.

The thing is, we can all take a lesson or two from Bob.

First off, Bob is a great example of how the smallest gestures can forge powerful connections between people.

I may not be able to be with my daughter at times when I want to be, but the simple gesture of sending her a picture of Bob and me keeps us connected. This same concept applies to keeping you connected with your networking contacts. You may not be able to attend every event you’re invited to or have lunch with every one of your contacts on a weekly basis, but you can find simple strategies to stay connected, such as giving them a quick call to check in or sending them a card.

Second, Bob is a terrific representation of why it is so important to explain the value you (and your business) bring to the table, and not to assume that people understand.

Think about it. When my unsuspecting “Bob photographers” initially respond to my request for a picture with my tiny red traveling companion, they see a man who probably belongs in a room with padded white walls, holding a contorted piece of pipe cleaner and smiling like it’s his best friend. Why do they react this way? Because they don’t understand the value Bob brings to the table as a powerful connector.

Once Bob’s specific purpose and role are explained in a way people can understand, his value is undeniable and people want to help me and applaud my dedication to my family. This is the same with explaining the value you and your business present to your networking partners–assuming people know the value you bring to the table is simply to leave money on the table every day.

Cassie is now about to turn 18, and she graduated from high school last week. She’s off to college in September, but I still plan on sending her photos of Bob and me as we travel around the world.

Bob’s looking a little worn with his travels (and I guess I am, too), but as long as I’m on the road, Bob will continue to be my traveling companion, Cassie will see evidence of our adventures, and she will always know we’re thinking of her as we travel the globe.

For more photos of Bob and me, go to: Facebook Photos of Bob.

Early last week, I posted a blog about Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back, and how the book outlines imperative success strategies for developing meaningful relationships through networking efforts and accomplishing any goal.

I got quite a few comments on that post from blog readers who are really interested in Keith’s book and the subjects he covers, so I wanted to invite everyone to a teleseminar that I will be doing with Keith on Tuesday, June 23 at 3 p.m. (Eastern Time). You can sign up for the teleseminar by clicking here.

Keith and I will be discussing the one key thing that the world’s top business leaders and entrepreneurs rely on to achieve extraordinary results and record-breaking success–building the right relationships and leveraging them at the right times. We will also be joined by Andrea J. Lee, bestselling author of Multiple Streams of Coaching Income and a leading entrepreneur who excels at building powerful relationships in order to accelerate success.

Even if you can’t make it to the live call, go ahead and register anyway because Elizabeth Marshall, host and founder of AuthorTeleseminars.com, will send you a recording of the call after it’s over. In the meantime, if you have any questions e-mail Elizabeth at host@authorteleseminars.com.

Click here to save your spot on the call and, whether you attend the live call or listen to the recording, come back and leave a comment. I’d love to hear your feedback!

So often, I see people who are frustrated about not getting more business referred to them. After all, they say, isn’t that what business networking is all about?

What many of these people don’t seem to realize, however, is that they need to actively share information about themselves with the right people before they can expect to have business referred to them by the people in others’ networks.

I discuss this very concept in my latest show on yourBusinessChannel. The fact is, it’s not enough that you’re great at what you do and can offer a lot of value to new clients. To win referrals from networking, you need to ensure that your contacts have all the necessary information about you and your skills so they can go out and persuade third parties to come and purchase your product or service. It’s amazing how many people fail to recognize this.

There are actually five key things that are essential for the members of your network to know about you before you can expect them to refer business your way. Equally, you need to know these same five things about them so you can reciprocate. I call this process of reciprocal sharing of information the GAINS exchange, based on the first letter of each of the five essential informational points: Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills (first discussed in my book, Business by Referral).

Goals: What are the objectives that are important to you; what are the problems you want to solve? Not just financial and business goals, but also personal and educational objectives.

Accomplishments: What big projects have you completed in business or as an employee? What are your accomplishments as a student or parent?

Interests: What are the things you really enjoy doing? The music you like to listen to, the hobbies you spend time on, the sports you like to play or watch? People are more willing to spend time with people they share interests with.

Networks: Each of your contacts is a part of many networks. Do you know what these are, how big they are? Each of us has the potential to connect with hundreds or thousands of people if we cultivate these resources.

Skills: What do you do especially well? What are the professional areas in which you excel? Don’t be afraid to share this information with your contacts, and learn about the talents and abilities of the people in your network as well.

These are not mysterious pieces of information. They are facts we are exposed to every day, if we look for them.

By remembering the GAINS exchange, you can make sure you don’t overlook this essential information about your networking contacts.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my employees attended the launch of my friend Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back, and she came into the office the next day raving about the presentation Keith had given. “You would have loved it,” she said. “He talked all about how success is created by developing relationships based on trust and how important accountability is to achieving goals–his stuff is right on point with everything you emphasize that effective networkers do.  Plus, the stories he told to illustrate his key points were really, really powerful!”

I’ve known Keith for quite a few years now, and I wasn’t at all surprised to hear that he gave a great presentation. After all, not only is he an extremely interesting guy, he’s the epitome of a master networker. He has one of the most diverse group of contacts of anyone I’ve ever known, and his first book, Never Eat Alone, is a bestseller. After I read Never Eat Alone, I found myself constantly referring to it in conversation and recommending it to people. Who’s Got Your Back is just as influential, and I have no doubt that it’s on its way to becoming Keith’s second bestseller.

No matter what it is you want to achieve, building relationships with the right people–people you trust who will hold you accountable so you can’t fail–is the strategy for success. With this new book, Keith offers the blueprint for accomplishing any goal.  It’s a must-read for anyone wondering how to develop meaningful relationships through their networking efforts.  If you aspire to achieve more in business and life, Who’s Got Your Back outlines some imperative strategies to get to where you want to be.

To learn more about Who’s Got Your Back, click here.

Also, Keith is currently traveling throughout the U.S. promoting the book. If you’re able to catch one of his presentations, I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed.  You can find out the exact cities and dates of his book tour by clicking here.     

Last year I started writing for a great company called Ponders & Principles, which publishes a “Thought-A-Day” software program called Ponder Pearls, and I’d like to offer all of my blog readers a free Ponder Pearls subscription. 

Ponder Pearls can be installed on any personal computer, and each day positive, entertaining and inspiring thoughts are delivered to you via a small window that pops up on the bottom right corner of your computer monitor.  The program contains a remarkable array of categorized thought series ranging from content by bestselling authors such as Brian Tracy and yours truly to sacred world texts, and you can also choose from a variety of themes such as “innovators and entrepreneurs,” sports coaches and athletes,” “Founding Fathers of the U.S.” and many, many more.

Hundreds of excerpted thoughts from my books and seminars are included in the Ponder Pearls software, and I’m in the process of sending in even more of my content to be distributed daily.  When I started using Ponder Pearls last year, I was so impressed by it that I invited Alex von Allmen of Ponders & Principles to come present the software at the 2008 BNI National Conference in Orlando.  The BNI directors and members who attended the conference loved the Ponder Pearls concept; I’ve had many of them contact me since then and say that they love getting my networking content and the other daily thought series they selected delivered to them daily.

So I invite you to take advantage of the free subscription to Ponder Pearls that I’m offering.  Once you’ve used the software for a few days, I’d love to hear what you think of it. So feel free to come back and leave a comment.

Getting your free subscription is easy:

1. Click on the gift card graphic above.
2. Enter “bni” in the “Gift Code” field (under the blue Ponder Pearls logo banner).
3. Create your free Ponder Pearls account by following the prompts.

Enjoy this FREE service. If you have any questions, simply e-mail Erin@bni.com.  

Let me know what you think.

We know what a powerful tool testimonials can be when it comes to building credibility and generating new business (see last week’s blog on this topic), but it’s also very important to know how to successfully use testimonials and how to ask for them.

First off, there are three keys to successfully using written testimonials:

1) Ask for testimonials at every opportunity.

2) Guide the content of your testimonials.

3) Update your testimonials.

So at what point in the sales cycle should you ask clients (or other contacts) for testimonials? This is a tricky question, but in general, ask for no testimonial before its time–which may be before, at or after completion of a sale or project,depending on your client, your product or service and your own needs.

Let’s say that one month before finishing a project, you call your client to ask how things are going. The client tells you that she’s very happy with the results and that her life or business has changed for the better because of your product or service. At this point, your testimonial detector should be pinging loudly. It’s the right time to make your pitch: “That would be a great thing for other people to know about my company. Would you be willing to write me a testimonial on your company letterhead by the end of the week?”

If the answer is yes, the next step is to coach your client in writing a testimonial that fits your needs. Ask her to tell why she chose to work with you, how she benefited from your products or services, how you solved a problem for her and what other people should know about your business. What things are most people concerned about when using a business like yours? Ask her to address those issues. Don’t be afraid to offer suggestions; you’ll make it easier for her to write an appropriate testimonial, and the results will be more valuable to you.

Finally, review your testimonial file or binder at least every two to three years to identify testimonials that are no longer valid or credible. Specifically, you may want to discard or refile a testimonial that:

•  Is from a company that’s no longer in business

• Is/was written by someone who has left the company

• Represents a product or service that you no longer offer

• Has begun to turn yellow with age or

• Needs to be updated with new statistics from the customer

One more thing: Remember the law of reciprocity? It works here, too. If you want to motivate someone to write you a testimonial, write one for him or her first.

You know, it continually amazes me how often I meet businesspeople who are at the top of their game in the business world, but who struggle with confidence when it comes to networking meetings.

How can these men and women–who are remarkably impressive performers in other areas of business–find networking so difficult?

It was this question which inspired me to make a new video, which you can watch here on yourBusinessChannel.com.

The truth is, there are a lot of reasons people struggle with networking. Sometimes it’s just confidence, but sometimes it’s organization or a lack of experience as well.

In the video, I give my Ten Commandments of Successful Networking, and I set out to give step-by-step practical guidelines covering everything you need to do to be a highly confident, successful business networker.

Here’s a little taste of what I recommend:

• Teach yourself to listen and ask questions more. Be like an interviewer and ask questions that get other people to open up. A great networker has two ears and one mouth–and uses them proportionately!
• Never push to close a deal at a networking event. Networking meetings are all about developing relationships with other professionals. They represent the beginning of a sales process, not the end.

Watch the video here for the remaining eight commandments.