Networking Now:

The law of reciprocity is always working, and it even has an impact on our conversations when we’re networking.  If you want someone to ask you a specific question, ask her the same question first. She’ll think, “that’s a great question.” After she answers, she’ll probably ask you the same question in return.  (If she doesn’t, she might be an “all about me” person–someone you want to avoid.)

Here are 10 great questions to ask someone while networking that are then likely to be asked of you in return.

1.  What do you do?
2.  Who’s your target market?
3.  What do you like most about what you do?
4.  What’s new in your business?
5.  What’s the biggest challenge for you and your business?
6.  What sets you apart from your competition?
7.  Why did you start your business?
8.  Where is your business located?
9.  What’s your most popular product?
10.  How do you generate most of your business?

Before attending your next networking function, think about what you want other people to ask you.  To get the most out of the law of reciprocity, take the initiative and ask those questions of each person you meet.

As the founder and chairman of an international organization, I am sometimes overwhelmed by commitments and obligations, so I know firsthand how important it is to make the most of your time.  Have you ever tried to get back an hour you spent on something that didn’t turn out well? It’s not possible. Since you know you can’t retrieve an hour, much less a day of precious time, you obviously want to spend it as wisely and effectively as you can.

So if you spent your time networking, you would want to get a high return on your networking investment, right? Here are some tips on how you can do just that:

1.  Be “on” 24/7
Be on the top of your networking game all the time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Networking opportunities present themselves in the most unsuspected places and times.  If you snooze, you just might lose.

2.  Learn to play golf or something
Challenge yourself to a game of golf or some other activity that aligns with your interests and skills.  A lot of business that happens on the golf course could just as easily happen on the badminton court, the soccer field or across a pool table.

3.  Have purposeful meal meetings
Get more value out of your meal meetings.  If you’re going to meet and eat, you may as well get more out of the experience than calories.  Make this activity pull its weight as an opportunity for business networking.

4.  Make first impressions count
Make sure you get off to a good start.  Learn to take a closer look at your appearance and your body language.  Are they helping you start good conversations–or ending them before you can even say a word?

5.  Seek out a referral networking group and join a chamber of commerce
If you’re going to venture out and attempt to build a network, the first steps should be to seek out a referral networking group and a chamber of commerce to help network your business.

6.  Sponsor select events and host a purposeful event
Focus on how you can leverage sponsorship opportunities and specific events to position your business in front of key people.  Of course, you need to take the initiative to make it happen.

Work on these strategies so you can strengthen your network, get more return on your networking investment, increase your visibility within the community and, most of all, get the most value from the time you spend networking.

Public speaking is one of the best ways to build your network by making yourself visible to large groups of people. Unfortunately, to some degree, many people are afraid of public speaking. I’ve stood in front of groups of people and given speeches and presentations all over the world, and I’ll be the first to admit that standing in front of an audience and talking while all eyes are on you can sometimes be intimidating. That’s no reason to miss out on the amazing opportunity to grow your network through public speaking.

Here are five suggestions for people who are nervous doing presentations at their networking groups or otherwise:

1. Prepare an outline of what you want to say and practice it.

2. Be specific and only talk about the things you know best.

3. Use handouts, visuals or PowerPoint slides to help carry you through the talk.

4. You’re the expert–think of ways to show it that aren’t threatening to you.

5. Be creative and think of ways you’re comfortable with to communicate your information.

While reading an older edition of an online newsletter affiliated with my networking organization, I ran across an article that stood out to me because it creatively compares networking to swimming and gives some useful advice on how to network successfully at events. Michael Goldberg, the author of the article, is a speaker and writer who founded his own consulting business. I’ve paraphrased his 12 very simple rules for successful networking (You may also CLICK HERE to read the full article).

1. Dress appropriately.
2. Always equip yourself with business cards and a pen.
3. Network only–no selling allowed.
4. Be prepared to ask questions–about them.
5. Greet and introduce others with passion.
6. If there is a connection, ask for his or her business card.
7. Hand out your business card (when asked).
8. Have a buddy system, and help others.
9. Know your purpose, and only share it when asked.
10. Spend more time listening, and less time talking
11. Know when the conversation is over, and mingle with others.
12. Make a friend (or two), and have fun.

To learn more about Michael, visit www.MichaelGoldbergspeaks.com.

As I sat on a plane bound for Orlando, Florida, this week, I began sorting through a stack of books that various authors have sent me as gifts, and I came upon the updated version of Susan RoAne’s How to Work a Room. I immediately had to smile because Susan has been a friend of mine for quite some time.  Anybody who knows her can tell you that she not only knows how to work a room, but she knows how to do it with what she calls “charm and chutzpah”–in other words, she is one funny lady!

I looked around at the other passengers surrounding me on the plane, some with their nose buried in a book or a magazine, others closing themselves off to any kind of communication by leaning back with their eyes closed and cranking up their iPod; and I thought, Susan could walk right up to any of these people and have them laughing and talking in a matter of minutes.

Some people, like Susan, are born networkers; but for most people networking is a skill that has to be learned. I would encourage anyone who isn’t necessarily known for having undeniable charm or chutzpah–but who often walks into events, meetings, conferences, or parties wanting to ease into meeting the people he or she doesn’t know–to pick up a copy of How to Work a Room. The recently updated version offers practical strategies for mingling, interacting, schmoozing and building common bonds. It includes chapters on roadblocks and remedies, preparation, small talk, specifc events–and how not to work a room.

The basic social and business dilemmas are the same as when the book was first published, but (judging from the countless iPods, Bluetooth devices, laptops and other technological gadgets that I observed people devoting every shred of their attention to in the airport and on the plane) it’s easy to see that technology has changed, giving us more opportunities to be rude. Susan addresses how those breaches could impact our careers, businesses and reputations, and offers some great suggestions on how to avoid and overcome them.

To learn more about Susan and How to Work a Room, please visit: http://www.SusanRoane.com

Recently, I was handed a copy of a book called Rules for Renegades: How to Make More Money, Rock Your Career, and Revel in Your Individuality by Christine Comaford-Lynch.

In the book, she names six networking essentials that are not necessarily the ones people might traditionally think of as the keys to networking success, but I think they can be of significant value–especially her advice on equalizing yourself with others. So I’d like to reprint them for you here, and I invite you to leave comments. Here’s Comaford-Lynch’s list:

1. Practice “Palm Up” Networking. When you network, are you giving or grasping? Palm up networking embodies the spirit of service, of giving and wanting nothing in return. When you network “palm down,” you’re grasping for personal gain. Palm up = heart-oriented interaction. Palm down = greedy grasping. Give to others; it’ll all come back to you in time.

2. Exercise Daily Appreciation. Appreciate at least one person daily. Sometimes I do this via e-mail so I can be thorough. And often, to my delight, the recipient will tell me that they are saving the message for when they need a pick-me-up. You can also express appreciation over the phone or in person. Simply tell someone how much you appreciate who they are or what they do–whatever about them moves you. They’ll be flattered, and you’ll feel great.

3. Equalize Yourself with Others. I believe we all have one unit of worth: no more, no less. No one can add to it; no one can take it away. We’re all equal. Just because someone is powerful, rich and famous doesn’t mean they are better than you. Practice equalizing yourself with others. This will enable you to more comfortably interact with others and to reach out to people of all walks of life.

4. Rolodex Dip. This is a fun practice when you want to connect with someone but aren’t sure whom. Flip through your contact database and pick a name. Then think of all the things you like about them. Now call them up to see how they are doing. They’ll be surprised and delighted.

5. Pick a “Sensei of the Day.” Each day I pick a sensei, a teacher. This is someone or something that has taught me a lesson or reminded me of what’s important in life. Your sensei can be a person, a pet, a plant; it doesn’t matter. The important thing is to acknowledge that there is much to learn and you are being offered valuable lessons constantly.

6. Do the Drive-By Schmooze. Parties and conventions–groups of all sorts–are great opportunities to network. But sometimes you’ll be tired, not in the mood or have too many events in one evening (like during the holiday season). This is when you’ll want to use the Drive-By Schmooze. Here’s how:

a. Timebox your networking. Decide that in 30 minutes you’ll do a check-in to determine if you need to stay any longer.

b. Set your goal. Determine the number of new connections you want to establish. Remember, your goal is meaningful connections, not simply contacts.
c. Let your intuition guide you. This may sound flaky, but it works! Stand near the door, in a corner, out of the way. Stop your thoughts. Internally ask to be guided to the people you need to connect with. Then start walking. You’ll be amazed at whom you meet.
d. Connect. You’ll always resonate with someone at an event. When you do, ask questions about them, such as: How did you get started in your field? What’s your ideal customer? We all love to talk about ourselves, and these questions will not only help you form a connection with this person, but will also tell you how to help them.
e. Offer help and follow through. If you can provide help, jot down ideas on the back of their business card, commit to follow up, and then do it. If you’ve had a fruitful conversation and want to take it further, offer to meet for lunch or coffee. People say life is 90 percent about showing up. Nonsense! Life is 90 percent about following through!

For more information on Christine and her bestselling book, Rules for Renegades, please visit: www.RulesForRenegades.com.

George C. Fraser is not only a valued friend of mine, he is also a man I greatly respect for the amazing accomplishments he has made in his life–which have proved him to be one of the most knowledgeable networking experts I’ve had the pleasure to associate with. He has written a book called CLICK: Ten Truths to Building Extraordinary Relationships, and I’d like to share some of the book for you here because the “Ten Truths” that he outlines are clear, straightforward, great networking tips that any good networker should keep in mind.

Here are George’s “Ten Truths”:

1. Be authentic: Be who you really are. Have an agenda, know why you’re there, what you want and need. Be on your best behavior–but always be yourself.

2. Be in the moment: Please … shut up and listen with your eyes and ears. Ask good questions. Roaming eyes (looking over and around someone) is an instant turnoff. Your task is to understand the other person first.

3. Find a need and fill it: Help someone with his or her child, health or wealth and you will CLICK quickly. Pretend you’re in a contest with the other person to see who can genuinely give, serve and add value first. Always look for the win-win.

4. Follow-up or be forgotten: Attention spans are short these days. Following up demonstrates that you care and helps build the connection. It also will impress people, because 98 percent won’t do it.

5. Give credit and take the blame: This is especially true when you lead a team. Remember that you have a limited amount of time; therefore, quickly rid yourself of toxic people and bloodsuckers–people who drain you of your time, energy and patience.

6. Make others feel significant and/or important: Give sincere compliments. Appropriateness is the key, be it the hair, jewelry, suit, tie, remarks, accomplishments, ideas, etc. Remember, insincerity is the highest form of B.S.

7. Don’t be boring: Talking only about sports, weather and/or business can be boring. Read! Lead with your passion/purpose. Self-depreciating humor is a great ice breaker. Do not prejudge people.

8. Have a great soundbite: It’s like having a hit record. Prepare a short 15- to 20-second statement that says: a. Who you are, b. Where you’re from, c. What you do, d. How you add value and e. Offers a quantifiable evaluation of your value. A great soundbite should pique people’s interest and give them something substantial from which to establish a connection.

9. Smile: You’ll attract more people. A gentle smile while standing, listening and/or talking is infectious. It signals openness, warmth, energy and interest.

10. Pay attention to appearance and hygiene: Yes, how you look matters. First impressions stick for a long time, so make a great one! Looking and smelling good go perfectly with feeling good and sounding good. It’s an unbeatable quartet if you want to be on the team.

For more information on George and CLICK, visit FraserNet or 10truths2click.com.

Are business cards disappearing? Well, sort of. I don’t mean your business cards. They better not be disappearing. You need them to network with. But what about all the cards you’ve been collecting when you meet people? What’s happening to them?

Business cards are the most powerful single business tool, dollar for dollar, that you can invest in to help build your business. They are a “marvelous, compact, energy-efficient, low-cost, low-tech instrument–a self-contained device with no gears, springs or batteries that keeps working for its owner hours, weeks, years, even decades after it has left his or her hands.” That’s what I said about them in my book It’s in the Cards a number of years ago. Well, I still believe all of the above except for one thing: I’m not so sure that our actual business cards continue to work for us hours, weeks or especially years after they have left our hands.

More and more I am seeing the business card become a disposable advertisement for people. Don’t get me wrong; I still think that business cards are very important. However, I also recognize that technology is replacing the “card box” and Rolodex I once had on my desktop. It has, for me, been replaced with Outlook. For many years, I had all the business cards I collected in a well-organized and categorized alphabetical card box. In recent years, I (like many other people) get back to my office with a pocket full of cards and have the information entered into my Outlook database. And the cards?  Well, let’s just say they used to disappear. But not any longer. No, today I keep them digitally using a CardScan.

I recently got a CardScan Executive and I love this product. I found it really, really easy to use (this said by someone who only reads instructions if absolutely necessary, and it wasn’t). The palm-sized device makes an image of the card and then automatically strips out the information into all the correct categories (name, company, address, phone, etc.). It then allows you to download all the information directly into your computer database (and did I mention that it was easy?).

Although I must admit that cards I used to receive went to that great big card box in the sky, now I can say they live on forever as a digital image and, more importantly, as a contact in my digital database–which is very important to the operation of my business. I really love the CardScan and I highly recommend it to anyone who is serious about networking. You can get more information about it at www.CardScan.com.

I’d love to hear your feedback on this type of product and how you use it in your networking efforts.

If you’d like to read some other articles that I’ve written about the effective use of business cards, take a look at these two columns here at Entrepreneur.com:

Article: Smart Ways to Use Your Business Card

Article: Creating an Effective Business Card

I had a conversation recently with a new BNI member who expressed that she has always been somewhat uncomfortable networking because she’s always been afraid of sounding like she’s being pushy, and she has a hard time knowing when it’s even “OKâ€? to approach the subject of business with other people. I told her what I’ve said countless times over the years to many other people–that the absolute key to networking appropriately is making sure to always honor the event.

You can network any time and any place, but as long as you are honoring the event, there is nothing to be afraid of. However, this means that in some cases you are going to network a lot differently than you would in other cases. For example, networking at a chamber mixer is one thing, while networking at church social event is something completely different.

It is essential to understand that networking does not mean that you should constantly be trying to sell people your products or services. Networking does mean that you should constantly build relationships. The best way to build relationships is to help someone whenever possible.

In order to appropriately network at a church social event, for example, you should make contacts, put people together, help others and build relationships. However, you should not be actively promoting your business. You should simply focus on putting people together and helping others.

Always keep your networking goals in sight at all events and opportunities, but don’t become a networking vulture or someone that everyone else runs from when they see you coming. Honor the event and tailor your networking strategies so that you fit in without being tuned out.

Always be sincere; and remember that no one minds the opportune exchange of information that will benefit one or more people, even when that exchange takes the form of helping someone..

I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately to promote my new book Masters of Sales (www.MastersBooks.Com), and on my way to a book tour date I sat next to a young man in an airport who struck up a conversation with me.  We got to talking about what each other did for a living and after explaining what I do, I found out that he worked for a small, family owned grocery business.  I commented that it was probably tough to be the “little guy� in competition with the larger chain grocery stores and that his employer must be doing something right to still be in business. 

Being in the business of networking for over 20 years, it’s a no-brainer to me that my comments and inquiries about the young man’s employer were a prime opportunity for him to explain what made his company special and to possibly make a valuable networking connection that could bring in business and possibly mean a promotion for him.  But instead of taking advantage of the open door I was extending to him with my curiosity, he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “Yeah, we’ve had the same customers for years, so I guess we’re just lucky that they’re so loyal.�

That conversation reminded me how critically important it is to teach your employees to network!  Many business people simply don’t do this one simple thing which could dramatically boost their networking efforts.  It doesn’t matter how much you may know about networking, or how well you network to promote your business, you never know what you could be missing out on if your employees were trained to network for you.

The bottom line is that until you teach someone how to do something effectively, expecting them to do it well – or even at all – is unrealistic.

As you might imagine, it’s far better to engage your entire staff in your word-of-mouth marketing campaign-not only at startup, but also throughout the life of your business. When you show employees how to network efficiently, they are much more apt to make efforts to network; and you will have a greater chance of gaining more business.

Try holding focus groups where you role-play ways to ask for referrals from other customers, friends and family.  Bring in local networking experts for in-house trainings.  Better yet, send your staff to a networking class, like the one’s conducted by the Referral Institute.   If you belong to a weekly networking group, bring your staff to those meetings one at a time so each member can see firsthand what networking can produce.  This also helps your networking partners feel that they know your business better, since they’ve been able to meet the people in your company.  

Networking is a group activity; so, make sure to get your whole team on board with the process.  If you’ve done anything to get your employees involved in networking your business, I’d love to hear about it.

One of my daughters recently invested in her first set of business cards and as I was coaching her on the key points of efficient business card use, I was thinking about all of the people that carry around business cards on a daily basis who simply do not realize what an absolutely crucial and valuable tool this one little card is!

Your business card is one of the most important networking tools you have in your quest for increased referrals.  Can you envision a reality where 20—30 people in your word-of-mouth marketing circle carry your cards and have them ready to hand to prospects they’re actually qualifying for you?  That’s what can happen if you use your business card efficiently!

In order to make the most of your business card:

* Make Your Cards Accessible in Every Situation

In short, don’t leave home without them! Keep a small box of your cards in your glove box, put cards in your pocket, your briefcase, wallet and computer bag.

* Seek Situations to Exchange Business Cards

One-on-one meetings, mixers and social events, conventions and trade shows, visits to non-competing businesses, and international meetings and events all present excellent opportunities to exchange your card.

* Contacts at a Distance

Whenever you communicate with someone in writing, send a card if it’s appropriate for the occasion.  Also, after any telephone call in which business was discussed, follow up with a letter outlining the main points of your discussion and include one or more of your cards.

* Special Tricks of the Trade

When giving out your card, hand-write something on one copy, such as your cell-phone number, a secondary e-mail address, etc.  This will give that particular card a greater chance of being held onto. Be sure you give a couple of “clean� cards to that person as well.   The main thing when handing out your card is to keep in mind what an effective tool it can be.  Take maximum advantage of its full potential. And never, ever, be caught without it.

I got a great question today from a chef that I thought I would share with you: 

I was in a store last week when a person shouted out, “Hi Chef” I faced the person and drew a complete blank.  Not only did I not know this person’s name, I didn’t recognize them at all.  So I smiled and said “Hi I’m fine” and kept on going. 

I was disappointed with my reaction.  Other choices were to stop and engage a conversation and fake it, hoping to pick up a clue to help me remember.  Or to come right out and say, “I’m sorry I can’t remember your name” or say, “I know you but I don’t remember from where.”

What do I do in a situation like this???