Networking Now:

We all know that businesses grow through lasting relationships. There’s a book called Businesses Relationships That Last that gives some very simple, yet powerful advice on how to think about and build relationships that last.

The author of the book is  a colleague of mine named Ed Wallace, who has more than 25 years of experience being a No. 1 sales producer and vice president of business development for a firm that grew from $1 million to more than $120 million in revenue.  After achieving such significant success over the course of his career, he has concluded that creating outstanding relationships is, hands down, the true secret to success and Business Relationships That Last clearly and simply illustrates Ed’s proven, relationship-building principles.

The book outlines five steps to transform contacts into high-performing relationships and uses some pretty interesting real-life stories, examples and insights gathered from Ed’s success as a sales leader.  It’s a step-by-step program specifically designed to advance business relationships and, in my opinion, it’s a book that every serious networker should add to his or her library.

To find out more about Business Relationships That Last or to purchase the book, CLICK HERE.

Have you ever wondered if men and women approach networking differently?

Well, I have. I’m actually in the process of gathering information to write a book about it with my friends Frank DeRaffele and Hazel Walker. A huge part of the book is going to be based on the findings of a survey we’re currently conducting. It’s the most comprehensive survey on gender and networking ever conducted, and we currently have 7,800 responses–which means we’re almost to our target of 8,000-10,000 responses!

The online survey only takes a few minutes, and I’d love to hear your opinions on Networking and the Sexes before the survey closes. You can rest assured that your opinions and comments are greatly appreciated and will be kept completely confidential; however, if you’d like to come back and leave a comment about what you thought of the survey, I’d be really interested to hear what you have to say!

If you live in Africa or South America, we especially need responses from people in those countries, so I’d really appreciate it if you’d take a few moments to participate and encourage your friends, family, and co-workers to participate as well.

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING LINK TO JOIN THE SURVEY NOW: http://www.SurveyMonkey.Com/s.asp?u=204762616512

Thanks!

My good friend Susan RoAne recently joined me as a fellow member of the iLearningGlobal.tv faculty and, as I was talking to her about the content she plans to contribute to the iLearningGlobal.tv website, I was suddenly struck with the memory of a great section from her book, How to Work a Room, which talks about casual conversation when networking.

If you have a chance to read the book, I highly recommend it because there are tons of great networking tips throughout the entire book. Not only will you get a great education on networking, you’ll be laughing from beginning to end. That’s one thing anyone who has met Susan knows about her–she’s hilarious!

However, since my blog isn’t supposed to be about my friend Susan’s witty sense of humor (Maybe I’ll start a blog devoted to that later . . . kidding, Susan! ) and it IS supposed to be about helping you become a better networker, I’ll go ahead and let the excerpt from How to Work a Room which I’ve been alluding to tell you about the five laws and five flaws of conversation:

Five Fundamental Laws of Casual Conversation

• Be a conversational chameleon. Adapt conversation to the individual by age, interest, profession.
• Be a name dropper. Always mention the names of people or places you could have in common.
• Borrow other people’s lives. Share the stories, comments and quips of your friends who have kids, have websites, are tai kwon do students, are Xtreme athletes, have opera tickets–even if you don’t.
• Be a two-timer. Give people a second chance.
• Be nice to everyone. Don’t judge tomorrow’s book by today’s cover.

Fatal Flaws of Casual Conversation

• Being unprepared by not reading papers, trade journals and information sources
• Controlling conversations by asking a barrage of questions, no matter how open-ended, or telling a nonstop series of jokes
• Complaining (kvetching); bragging
• One-upping/competing, interrupting, not listening, slinging put-downs
• Offering unsolicited feedback

Before television there was radio. Before radio there were books. And before books there were storytellers. No matter what the medium–stone tablets, movies, grocery store tabloids, the internet–the story is central.

A good story stays with people and compels them to share it with others. It’s as true today as it was 2000 years ago–and it’s especially true of success stories. Everyone likes to hear them; everyone likes to have one. Do you see how this aligns perfectly with word-of-mouth marketing, where referrals are based on thousands of individual success stories? You see, every time one networker passes a referral to another, she is telling a story about a need fulfilled successfully or a problem solved effectively.

You can empower your network by writing down success stories about your business so that they won’t be forgotten and they can be told to other people. You also want to encourage your networking partners to swap stories with you so you can each keep the stories on file and use them to help find and refer great business opportunities to each other.

The key is to capture a truly compelling story–one that practically begs to be shared, one that the people in your network would actually have trouble keeping to themselves. The anatomy of a successful word-of-mouth story about your business is quite simple. It has a captivating beginning, an action-packed middle and a happy ending (and, conveniently, it will in most cases naturally outline for your referral partners what your perfect customer looks like). If you’re expecting other people to act on your story and share it, it must be a compelling story–and must have a positive outcome.

Chances are you have several great success stories about your business but, if not several, I’m sure you have at least one. So to start with, I’d like to challenge you to write down your business’s most compelling success story, ask at least one person on your word-of-mouth marketing team to do the same, and then share your stories with each other.

The more stories you share with other people, the more high-quality referrals you’ll get and the more success stories you’ll generate as you continue to network your business.

It’s no secret that a master networker has two ears and one mouth and uses them proportionally. But even if you think you’re a good listener, you may be surprised at how much you might still be lacking when it comes to listening effectively.

My good friend Mark Goulston’s new book, Just Listen, will not only teach you how to make a powerful and positive first impression by listening effectively, it will even show you how to turn the “impossible” and “unreachable” people in your life into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues and lifetime friends.

The point is, if you want to maximize your networking efforts and build the strongest network possible, the skill of truly listening is crucial for you to develop; and Just Listen is the ultimate, must-read guide that you need to get your hands on.

Mark is a bestselling author, a psychiatrist, a business consultant, an executive coach and a hostage-negotiation trainer for the FBI. Over the span of his career in these fields, he has found what consistently works to reach all kinds of people in any situation. Any guesses as to what he’s found one of the most powerfully effective strategies for getting through to anyone might be? . . . Yep, you got it! . . . LISTENING!

You’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who could teach you how to listen more effectively than Mark, and I can guarantee you that you won’t have a problem focusing on reading his book (”listening” to his words as you read) because he’s not only a pretty darn interesting guy, he’s also remarkably entertaining!

CLICK HERE to visit Mark’s website

CLICK HERE to find out more about Just Listen.

Read reviews and purchase Just Listen on Amazon.com

Read reviews and purchase Just Listen on Barnes&Noble.com

If you are not yet familiar with Lisa Nichols, she is one amazingly inspiring woman. She’s one of the stars of the hit DVD movie The Secret, co-author of two Chicken Soup for the Soul books, author of the recently released No Matter What!–9 Steps to Living the Life You Love, and she is a great friend of mine.

Lisa is one of those rare public speakers who is able to develop a connection with each person in the audience no matter whether she’s speaking to a group of 25 people or a crowd of 500. She has a real gift for connecting with people and motivating them to take action toward positive and lasting change. For this very reason, I invited Lisa to be the keynote speaker at the BNI U.S. National Conference this past April, and she blew the entire audience away with her presentation on how anybody can overcome any and every obstacle in front of them in business and life. More than a few of the conference attendees said she was the best speaker they’d ever heard, and people still come up to me and tell me she was the highlight of that conference (Hmmm . . . I seem to recall giving a speech at the conference as well–should my feelings be hurt? ).

Why am I telling you all of this about Lisa? Because she’s going to be speaking at an event called “Get Connected to Lisa Nichols & Friends” in Minneapolis , Minn. on Sept. 23, and if it’s at all possible for you to attend the event, I highly recommend that you go. Not only will you get to hear Lisa’s presentation, you’ll also hear from three more great speakers who also happen to be good friends of mine: Bob Burg, Roxanne Emmerich and Janet Attwood. It’s going to be one powerful event, and I encourage anybody who can make it out to Minneapolis to attend–I can guarantee you won’t be disappointed.

Seating is limited, so if you’re interested check out the event website now to get more details and register: GetConnectedEvent.com.

My good friend Julien Sharp is a brilliant editor who has worked on a countless number of writing projects for me and done a top-notch job. She is also founder of Stylo Creative Communications, a fantastic networker and businesswoman, and an exceptional author who contributed a great article entitled “From Mickey Mouse to Cruise Ships” to my 2007 bestseller, Masters of Sales.

The article talks about her early childhood dream to be a musical performer on The New Mickey Mouse Club, how that transitioned into a desperate longing to become a cruise ship entertainer, and how she went from a kid growing up in rural Indiana to a successful cruise ship entertainer performing in exotic locations like the southern Caribbean.

Although Julien’s story is certainly an interesting one, the reason I bring up her article is not to detail her journey from Mickey Mouse to Cruise Ships, but to focus on the main points in her article, which explain how she achieved success.

Julien says that even today, she’s never forgotten a quote she read as a young girl from Lee Iacocca: “You’ve got to say, ‘I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough, I can have it.’ It’s called perseverance.”

This idea became the mantra that guided Julien to success. She says, “I had to have the perseverance to finish what it took to achieve my goal, and I had to realize that perseverance virtually never comes into play without the first two words in the quote: ‘I think . . .”

As a result of making Iacocca’s quote her mantra, at an early age Julien learned:

1. To convert her dream to a specific goal

2. How to research her target market

3. To create an impassioned sales presentation, and

4. To sell with passion.

Julien’s all-encompassing goal was to sing on a cruise ship, so she researched her client (cruise ship companies), rehearsed her presentation (created a demo cassette, packaged with the most professional photo she could afford, and included an introductory letter detailing her experience, education and the absolute passion she had for achieving her goal), used her enthusiasm as her best selling tool (all her money and every ounce of emotional desire went into 12 demo packages destined for various cruise lines in Miami), and persisted in chasing her goal. It’s no surprise that she achieved that goal, and now she continues to achieve.

So, what’s your goal this week? This month? This year? If you really want to achieve your goals, remember the Iacocca quote, take a lesson from Julien, and learn to persevere.

These days the economy seems to be an inescapable topic of conversation. Whether you refuse to participate in a recession or not, people are still going to engage you in conversations centered around finances and the state of the global economy.  Chances are, they’ll be focusing on “how bad things are” instead of focusing on what we can actively do to make things better for ourselves.

I was recently involved in such a conversation, and all the other person kept trying to do was get me to agree that we’re all doomed and that everything is only getting worse. No matter what I countered with, he wouldn’t let go of this doomed-victim mentality he had. I suddenly thought back to a pretty powerful passage from my friend Lee Brower’s latest book, The Brower Quadrant, and I thought it might get this guy to finally see the light. So I paraphrased Lee’s ideas for him.

I said, “Look. I have a friend named Lee Brower who is an expert on wealth preservation and financial planning, and he puts it pretty simply when he says that when you let yourself get overcome with perceived barriers to your future dreams, you’re really writing the script for your future. How you spend your time each day–every choice, every thought, every action– is either a deposit or a withdrawal from your future. So there you have it. If you let yourself become paralyzed with the fear of dealing with an uncertain economy, then instead of doing what you can to promote a successful future for yourself, you’re actually making efforts to ensure a negative impact on your future.”

For the first time during our 15-minute conversation, the guy had nothing to say. I told him he should really read Lee’s book because it outlines strategies for what Lee calls “true wealth”–strategies that help people do more and achieve real wealth in all areas of their life instead of accepting a life of scarcity and struggle. I went on to explain that the strategies in the book are straightforward and very powerful, but that implementing them takes real commitment and real effort.

I completely agree with Lee’s ideas that anybody can create wealth in all areas of life no matter their current financial circumstances and that it’s done by making the choice to focus on what you can do with what you have, rather than to view yourself as a victim based on what you don’t have. It’s very true that that’s much more easily said than done but, like I always say, we can’t control the economy but we can control how we respond to it (even if it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do).

I really hope that my nay-saying conversation partner picked up a copy of The Brower Quadrant, and I strongly encourage all of my blog readers to pick up a copy as well. Not only will you learn how to cement yourself in true wealth, you’ll know how to respond to people when they try to convince you that you’re doomed. You might even positively change the course of their future because of it.

To learn more about Lee Brower and The Brower Quadrant, please visit: www.LeeBrower.com.

Early last week, I posted a blog about Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back, and how the book outlines imperative success strategies for developing meaningful relationships through networking efforts and accomplishing any goal.

I got quite a few comments on that post from blog readers who are really interested in Keith’s book and the subjects he covers, so I wanted to invite everyone to a teleseminar that I will be doing with Keith on Tuesday, June 23 at 3 p.m. (Eastern Time). You can sign up for the teleseminar by clicking here.

Keith and I will be discussing the one key thing that the world’s top business leaders and entrepreneurs rely on to achieve extraordinary results and record-breaking success–building the right relationships and leveraging them at the right times. We will also be joined by Andrea J. Lee, bestselling author of Multiple Streams of Coaching Income and a leading entrepreneur who excels at building powerful relationships in order to accelerate success.

Even if you can’t make it to the live call, go ahead and register anyway because Elizabeth Marshall, host and founder of AuthorTeleseminars.com, will send you a recording of the call after it’s over. In the meantime, if you have any questions e-mail Elizabeth at host@authorteleseminars.com.

Click here to save your spot on the call and, whether you attend the live call or listen to the recording, come back and leave a comment. I’d love to hear your feedback!

While attending the iLearningGlobal.tv Launch Conference in Las Vegas this past March, I met a woman from San Diego, Calif., named Gloria Boileau. Gloria happens to be a very accomplished lady. Currently working as an executive coach, she is a former trial specialist who prepared witnesses and clients for jury trials. She’s also a renowned international speaker and image expert, and she has just published her first book.

As Gloria and I spoke, she began explaining the concept of her new book, Stop the Fear. She started off with a good point: We are a society that has become so dependent on fear that it has permeated itself into nearly every aspect of our lives. All we have to do is turn on the TV or open up a newspaper to realize just how true this is. I am always emphasizing how important it is to refuse to participate in a recession, and the reason I drive that point home so often and so repeatedly is because everywhere we turn, we have people telling us that the “doom and gloom” state of the economy is only getting worse and that we should be afraid . . . very afraid, they say.  I say, whether it’s the media or it’s your friends and family, don’t listen to them and don’t be afraid!

The economy goes in cycles. It’s as inevitable as death and taxes. It would obviously be ridiculous to waste your entire life panicking about the fact that you know you’re going to die one day, or to spend your entire work day bemoaning the fact that the government is going to take a significant chunk of your hard-earned money. These are inescapable facts of life, just like economic fluctuations. Why, then, are so many people wasting their time worrying about how “bad” the economy is and cutting back on efforts to build their business when they should be focusing on networking and drumming up more business during what is only an inevitable, temporary financial downturn? Why? Because Gloria’s point is right–fear has permeated our society, and people are letting it paralyze them instead of focusing on taking control of what they can by taking positive action.

In Stop the Fear, Gloria explains, “Fear is a four-letter word which creates an emotion that weighs a person down and prevents them from realizing their potential.” In other words, fear is a choice. Whether you struggle with fear surrounding economic flucuations, or you fear something else such as failure, pain or embarrassment, we all fear something to some degree–and fear can keep us from achieving important goals.  Gloria’s book outlines 12 simple strategies for overcoming fear that can help anyone, anywhere, redirect his or her focus so fear doesn’t stand in the way of success.

If you’re interested in finding out more about Stop the Fear, please click here.

So often, I see people who are frustrated about not getting more business referred to them. After all, they say, isn’t that what business networking is all about?

What many of these people don’t seem to realize, however, is that they need to actively share information about themselves with the right people before they can expect to have business referred to them by the people in others’ networks.

I discuss this very concept in my latest show on yourBusinessChannel. The fact is, it’s not enough that you’re great at what you do and can offer a lot of value to new clients. To win referrals from networking, you need to ensure that your contacts have all the necessary information about you and your skills so they can go out and persuade third parties to come and purchase your product or service. It’s amazing how many people fail to recognize this.

There are actually five key things that are essential for the members of your network to know about you before you can expect them to refer business your way. Equally, you need to know these same five things about them so you can reciprocate. I call this process of reciprocal sharing of information the GAINS exchange, based on the first letter of each of the five essential informational points: Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills (first discussed in my book, Business by Referral).

Goals: What are the objectives that are important to you; what are the problems you want to solve? Not just financial and business goals, but also personal and educational objectives.

Accomplishments: What big projects have you completed in business or as an employee? What are your accomplishments as a student or parent?

Interests: What are the things you really enjoy doing? The music you like to listen to, the hobbies you spend time on, the sports you like to play or watch? People are more willing to spend time with people they share interests with.

Networks: Each of your contacts is a part of many networks. Do you know what these are, how big they are? Each of us has the potential to connect with hundreds or thousands of people if we cultivate these resources.

Skills: What do you do especially well? What are the professional areas in which you excel? Don’t be afraid to share this information with your contacts, and learn about the talents and abilities of the people in your network as well.

These are not mysterious pieces of information. They are facts we are exposed to every day, if we look for them.

By remembering the GAINS exchange, you can make sure you don’t overlook this essential information about your networking contacts.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my employees attended the launch of my friend Keith Ferrazzi’s new book, Who’s Got Your Back, and she came into the office the next day raving about the presentation Keith had given. “You would have loved it,” she said. “He talked all about how success is created by developing relationships based on trust and how important accountability is to achieving goals–his stuff is right on point with everything you emphasize that effective networkers do.  Plus, the stories he told to illustrate his key points were really, really powerful!”

I’ve known Keith for quite a few years now, and I wasn’t at all surprised to hear that he gave a great presentation. After all, not only is he an extremely interesting guy, he’s the epitome of a master networker. He has one of the most diverse group of contacts of anyone I’ve ever known, and his first book, Never Eat Alone, is a bestseller. After I read Never Eat Alone, I found myself constantly referring to it in conversation and recommending it to people. Who’s Got Your Back is just as influential, and I have no doubt that it’s on its way to becoming Keith’s second bestseller.

No matter what it is you want to achieve, building relationships with the right people–people you trust who will hold you accountable so you can’t fail–is the strategy for success. With this new book, Keith offers the blueprint for accomplishing any goal.  It’s a must-read for anyone wondering how to develop meaningful relationships through their networking efforts.  If you aspire to achieve more in business and life, Who’s Got Your Back outlines some imperative strategies to get to where you want to be.

To learn more about Who’s Got Your Back, click here.

Also, Keith is currently traveling throughout the U.S. promoting the book. If you’re able to catch one of his presentations, I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed.  You can find out the exact cities and dates of his book tour by clicking here.