At a recent networking event, a woman approached me and told me that she had heard of BNI and was interested in joining a chapter but explained that she was hesitant based on an experience she had recently when she attended a meeting of another local networking group. She had been very put off by the attitude and the comments of the meeting’s apparent leader. Being new to networking, the meeting was the first of its kind that this woman, an esthetician, had ever attended and she said that she had expected something very different.
She had been told the networking group she was going to meet with was filled with positive, welcoming people who would be as interested in learning to help her promote her business as she was in learning to help them promote theirs. What she found upon arrival, however, was that very few people took any interest in her at all because most were busy socializing in clusters reminiscent of high school cliques. Then, to start the meeting, the group’s leader stood up and announced that he was in a crabby mood and urged everyone to find their seats quickly. As soon as she sat down, a member of the group informed her that she needed to move because she was sitting in “his seat.” Needless to say, she got up and, instead of finding another seat, headed out the door.
I wish I could say this was the first time I’ve heard of an occurrence like this but, unfortunately, it’s not. When a networking group doesn’t have strong, positive leadership to set a good example and enforce structure, the group runs the risk of turning into nothing more than a coffee klatch. I encouraged the esthetician to seek out her local BNI chapter despite her bad experience with the other networking group and ensured that she would have a much better experience simply based on the difference in leadership. Groups follow the example of their leaders and in the situation of the networking group this woman visited, the leadership set a very bad example and the group members followed suit.
The fact holds true that whether you’re talking about networking, business or life, people will follow the example of those in leadership roles, which means it’s imperative for leaders to be wise, positive and solutions-focused. One of the most important aspects of a good networking group is the leadership team that runs the meeting. These individuals should be chosen based on their ability to size up any situation, point in the direction that’s best for the group and lead the group toward the most positive path–they recognize the importance of leadership and the domino effect that both bad and good leadership can have.
Leaders, in any aspect of life, set the tone for how other people following their example will act. I encourage every one of you reading this, whether you’re in a networking group or not, to remember that whether or not you’re in a recognized leadership role, people are always observing you. If the leaders in your life aren’t setting a good example, why not step up and act as a leader yourself? If one or two members of the “high school clique” networking group mentioned above had done this, other members of the group might’ve followed their lead and the esthetician might not have walked out with such a negative view of all of them.
If you have any stories about how you stepped up and became a leader when those in leadership positions were lacking, I’d love to hear them. Please leave a comment.
This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under BNI, Networking, Networking Education, Self Development. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.3 Responses to “The Importance of Leadership in Networking”
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July 10th, 2009 at 4:53 am
As an experienced PR and marketing professional for over 35 years, I am accutely aware of the need for a ‘positive first impression’ in every public arena. Having participated in several BNI Chapters in NY and CT, I found that greeting newcomers in a very warm and welcoming spirit is critical to their return. In many instances, I have taken the time to introduce visitors to our BNI Southbury CT Chapter members on a very one-to-one basis, especially when they are guests I know from other area business arenas. Your points re: leadership role models are crucial. It behooves every member of every Chapter when their leaders and members alike provide a welcoming, inviting and positive experience for everyone week after week – whether they are visitors to the meeting or not. All BNI members want to feel comfortable, welcomed, supported week after week – that is a reason we join. We all want to ‘wake up’ each morning to a positive experience in our personal and business lives. That is BNI’s universal message, “We are here to support, encourage and enjoy each other as business colleagues, partners and friends.” Delivering that message week-after-week in our BNI Chapters ’spreads that positive feeling and message’ to every area of our lives.
Barbara Branagan-Mitchell, Branagan Communications Consultants LLC
July 15th, 2009 at 5:50 am
Once again, great article. Ivan, one other thing that needs to be reminded/addressed is that great leaders also groom and prepare their successors. How many times have there been instances in organizations where the current leadership was great, only to have a mediocre or poor leadership succeed them?
In my 13 years with BNI, while the leadership team training by Directors does provide the roadmap and the formula for succcess, the training alone will not guarantee success. I’ve noticed during that if the current leadership at the chapter level does not take an active role in helping to prepare their successors for their roles and if they don’t offer the help, encouragement, support and mentoring, then it’s going to be a more difficult term in office for everyone.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
I am constantly reading and trying to learn from whomever will teach about leadership and what it takes to become a great leader. I have heard others speak of similar situation as described in this article and I guess I am fortunate to have never been involved in that type of situation. If I had one piece of advice for the person that this happened to it would be this. Whatever your goals are never let anything or anyone deter you from where you are trying to go.
To everyone’s success,
Rodney