Networking Now:

I received an e-mail today from someone in my organization who said that entrepreneurs and business professionals really need help in management, sales, accounting, taxes and many other issues.  So far, so good–I couldn’t agree more!

Then he suggested that our organization would be so much better if we provided that kind of training. Whoa–stop!  Here’s where we part ways.  You see, I’ve heard that many times over the years.  It tends to come from groups that are struggling, and they’re looking for something to provide all the answers to a myriad of problems.  This sounds really good and I understand where the frustration is coming from–unfortunately, it just doesn’t work.

Many years ago as a business consultant, I saw a lot of my clients bounce around from one product or service to another.  They were chasing projects down rabbit trails because someone said they should be doing this element or that element of the business.  They didn’t specialize.  They tried to be all things to all people.  They ended up being good at nothing at all. 

When it comes to being a truly great organization, I believe that a  jack-of-all-trades is a master of none.   Instead, I believe that you should focus on your organization’s core competencies.   Do what you are good at, and do it better than anyone else.

There are many, many companies that are MUCH better at teaching business people about management, sales, taxes, etc.  My networking organization is not an expert in taxes or business management.  Organizations such as iLearningGlobal provide more content from more experts than we ever could.  We shouldn’t even try to be “the” expert in these areas.  In fact, we are not and never will be the leading organization on sales training.  Organizations such as Brian Tracy University are much better in this field than we are.  If we try to do that–we change our core business model and lose our focus.

Don’t try to be all things to all people.  Do what you are best at and do it better than anyone else in the world.  My company, BNI, is myopic.  We do one thing and, based on results (thousands of groups in dozens of countries), we do it better than anyone else.  We help people build their business through a structured referral networking program.  We are the biggest and the best at what we do, and we don’t try to be the best at other things.

Great companies know what business they are in, and they focus on improving that business every day.

I’ve mentioned my good friend Susan RoAne’s networking books in a few of my previous blogs because her content is not only invaluably effective and simple to implement, it’s also a real treat to study because she’s hilariously witty and it shows in her work.

If you haven’t yet checked out any of Susan’s networking content, now is the perfect time to start.  Susan’s bestselling book How To Work A Room has just turned 21, and the information it offers is timeless. In fact, it’s actually even more important now than ever.

In fact, Susan began designing networking workshops in the early ’80s when, due to the down economy, she was one of 1,200 San Francisco teachers who were laid off.  Her material is specifically relevant to those who want to generate business through networking despite economic downturns, and I don’t know anybody who couldn’t benefit from that information currently.  Through her workshops, Susan ended up not only helping her peers get back on their feet financially, she also ended up writing her first book based on her most popular workshop. 

Now her first book, How To Work A Room, has been in bookstores for more than two decades, has sold over a million copies worldwide and is now in its third edition.  Susan is constantly asked to give her keynote presentation based on How To Work A Room at various meetings, conferences and conventions across the globe. If you ever have the chance to attend an event where Susan is speaking, take it! Don’t take my word for it though: Grab a copy of How To Work A Room and, after you read it, I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t have to think twice about going to any event where Susan is scheduled to speak.

Click here to go to the How To Work A Room Twenty-One and Timeless page where you can find out more about Susan, the book and about how to purchase the book online.

If you’re familiar with Susan’s networking material already, I’d love to be able to pass your comments along to her about how she’s helped you become a better networker, so feel free to post your comments here!

I founded BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization, on a philosophy called Givers Gain.  Now, 25 years later, BNI has grown into an organization that spans more than 40 countries and has a membership of more than 111,000 people who meet every week to pass each other business referrals.  Last year alone, BNI generated more than $2.3 billion (USD) in business for our members worldwide, and this year, even in in a down economy, I wouldn’t be surprised if that number is even higher.

Why am I telling you all of this about BNI?  Believe it or not, it is not because I’m trying to plug my organization.  I’m telling you all of this because I’m trying to show you how powerful the Givers Gain philosophy is.  It’s simple, really . . . when you genuinely show an interest in others and help them build their business, they will naturally want to do the same for you. That is the No. 1 reason BNI has been so successful.

If you want to hear more about how you can greatly build your success by simply being of service to others, listen to the upcoming interview I have scheduled with Ariel & Shya Kane of the Being Here radio show.  The episode is called “Being of Service: A New Possibility,” and we’ll be discussing how to have success in business and life and, in particular, how being of service to others can be a great business model.

The show will air at 9 a.m. Pacific (click here to adjust the time zone according to where in the world you will be listening from) next Wednesday, Nov. 18, and you can listen live or access the archived recording at a later date.

CLICK HERE FOR INSTRUCTIONS ON LISTENING TO NEXT WEEK’S LIVE BROADCAST or INSTRUCTIONS ON ACCESSING THE ARCHIVED RECORDING IN THE FUTURE.

Last week I told you that the No. 1 trait of master networkers is that they follow up the referrals they are given.  I hope you’ve been working on fine-tuning your follow-up strategy and that you’re now on the road to mastery of this aspect of networking.

So what else did the survey of more than 2,000 businesspeople from more than four countries reveal to be included in the top five essential traits of a master networker?

• Positive attitude. A consistently negative attitude causes people to dislike you and drives away referrals; a positive attitude makes people want to associate and cooperate with you.  Positive business professionals are like magnets.  Others want to be around them and will send their friends and family to them.

• Enthusiasm and motivation. Think about the people you know.  Who gets the most referrals?  People who show the most motivation, right?  It has been said that the best sales characteristic is enthusiasm.  To gain the respect of your fellow networkers, sell yourself with enthusiasm.  Once you’ve done this, your contacts will sell you to others.

• Trustworthiness. When you refer one person to another, you put your reputation on the line.  You have to be able to trust your referral partner and be trusted in return.  Neither you nor anyone else will refer a contact or valuable information to someone who can’t be trusted to handle it well.

• Good Listening Skills. Your success as a networker depends on how well you listen and learn.  The faster you and your networking partner learn what you need to know about each other, the faster you’ll establish a valuable relationship.  Communicate well and listen well.

When I ask people what they think the No. 1 trait of a master networker is, most people think it’s that master networkers, above all,  give referrals to others.

However, according to a survey of more than 2,000 businesspeople from four countries that was published in Masters of Networking, a book I co-wrote with Don Morgan, the No. 1 trait of master networkers is that they follow up on the referrals they are given. “Giving referrals” didn’t even make the top five!

The reason for this top ranking is that if you present opportunities to someone who consistently fails to follow up successfully–whether it’s a simple piece of information, a special contact or a qualified business referral–it’s no secret that you’ll eventually stop wasting your time on that person.  He’s an embarrassment to you as the referral giver and to the prospect, who ends up wondering if he did something wrong.

So if you strive to be a master networker, always remember: When it comes to business referrals, following up is not an option; it’s a life-or-death requirement.

Curious what the survey revealed to be the remaining top five characteristics of a master networker?  Come back next week to find out!

In my last blog I promised you that this week I’d tell you a story about the way someone once recognized me that kept me wanting to refer him over and over.  Well, here goes . . .

A few years ago, I visited my chiropractor for a routine adjustment.  Several weeks before, I had referred him to a friend who had recently been in an accident.  As I walked into the waiting room, my eyes fell on a bulletin board that was displayed prominently on the wall.  The bulletin board read, “We would like to thank the following patients for referring someone to us last month.”

Actually, there was nothing unusual about this sign.  It had been there on each of my previous visits–but this time, my name was posted on it.  I took notice and was pleased, but I didn’t give it a second thought, until I returned a month later and saw that my name was no longer on it.  Instantly I thought, Who else can I refer to the doctor so that my name will be put back on the board?

For the record, my name has consistently been on that board for the better part of three years now . . . and I plan on having it stay there. 

Rather than receiving a finder’s fee, for most referral sources  it is more important to be recognized as a person who can direct others to the goods and services provided by skilled, highly competent, trustworthy people.

Over the years I’ve witnessed time and again that most people will do more for simple recognition than for money. However, for those who expect a finder’s fee, this is a good thing to know in advance if you want to keep the relationship healthy, active and profitable.

You will find that different motivators will inspire different members of your referral team, and this is a matter in which understanding the various behavioral styles of people can be helpful.

People who are embarrassed by being in the spotlight, even for accolades and applause, might prefer their rewards low-key and private–perhaps a simple thank you or an evening cruise on your boat if you are a boat owner.  Those who like public recognition might prefer seeing their name showcased on your bulletin board.  Still others may be more highly motivated by an inexpensive but thoughtful gift than by a more substantial cash reward–a bottle of wine from a winery near their hometown or a coffee table book about their favorite travel destination.

The point is, simple recognition really resonates with most people and, more often than not, simply recognizing people in the way they prefer to be recognized is a far better reward and incentive for them to refer you to others than offering them a cash finder’s fee.

If you’re in the habit of recognizing people as a way of thanking them for referrals, please leave a comment about what’s worked for you and even what hasn’t.  Then check back next week to read my story about a way in which someone recognized me that kept me motivated to refer that person over and over again!

We all know that businesses grow through lasting relationships. There’s a book called Businesses Relationships That Last that gives some very simple, yet powerful advice on how to think about and build relationships that last.

The author of the book is  a colleague of mine named Ed Wallace, who has more than 25 years of experience being a No. 1 sales producer and vice president of business development for a firm that grew from $1 million to more than $120 million in revenue.  After achieving such significant success over the course of his career, he has concluded that creating outstanding relationships is, hands down, the true secret to success and Business Relationships That Last clearly and simply illustrates Ed’s proven, relationship-building principles.

The book outlines five steps to transform contacts into high-performing relationships and uses some pretty interesting real-life stories, examples and insights gathered from Ed’s success as a sales leader.  It’s a step-by-step program specifically designed to advance business relationships and, in my opinion, it’s a book that every serious networker should add to his or her library.

To find out more about Business Relationships That Last or to purchase the book, CLICK HERE.

OK, wait, let me rephrase that . . . ask me any business networking question–not just any question. If you’re thinking along the lines of embarrassing moments and possible blackmail material, then you’re out of luck on this one ( Sorry, I’ve still got disclaimers on the brain after my blog about the legal system! )

Anyway, I’m happy to announce that AskIvanMisner.com is now live, and this is your chance to ask me any question you have about how to build your personal and professional network.

On the third Tuesday of each month, beginning on Nov. 17 (10 a.m. Pacific/1 p.m. Eastern), I’ll be conducting a FREE, live teleseminar, co-hosted by my friend Alex Mandossian, where I’ll answer a handful of questions selected from those submitted on AskIvanMisner.com.

I’m encouraging anyone and everyone to log on and submit a question for me. You’ll be given the call-in number once you’ve submitted your question, and it’s perfectly fine with me if you invite any of your friends and/or business colleagues to join the FREE calls as well.

I’m looking forward to reading your questions, so log onto AskIvanMisner.com now and ask away!

Over the years, I’ve run into countless people who believe that joining groups and organizations and becoming active by volunteering, taking on responsibilities and working side-by-side with other people on a common goal will cause people to get to know them and refer business to them.  However, this is not how things work.

Granted, it’s easy to think that if you rub elbows with someone long enough he or she will spontaneously start sending you business opportunities. But that’s really nothing more than an entitlement mentality.

Getting referrals usually takes three things: visibility, credibility and profitability.  Ordinary participation in an organization, even a strong-contact referral group, will get you visibility and perhaps some credibility; it won’t automatically get you profitability.  That takes a much more focused approach, along with some explicit talk about the kinds of referrals you want.

By nature, referral relationships are rewarding and valuable when they are created purposefully and by design. If you are assuming that the idea of giving you referrals is going to pop into someone’s head spontaneously if you hang around long enough, you are definitely misunderstanding what a referral relationship is supposed to be.

Woody Allen once said that “90 percent of success is just showing up,” but he wasn’t talking about referral marketing.  “Just showing up” will get you a seat at the table, but you have to pass the food to others and snag your own steak whenever it comes around.  It’s not “netsit” or “neteat“–it’s network!“  If you want to build your business through referrals, you have to learn how to deliberately work the networks to which you belong.

You see, participating in a group is one thing; performing is another.  To get referrals, you have to perform.  If you don’t perform–talk specifics about your business, your specialties and your ideal referral, and refer business to others in your group–how are they going to know what you do and what you need?  You have to take specific actions to let people know how they can refer business to you.  Being a good citizen is the right thing to do, but it’s not enough to get you the referrals you need to run your business by word-of-mouth marketing–you need to actively feed and water your referral relationships, so to speak, in order to significantly grow your business through referrals.

Do you have balance in your life?  Personal and professional balance in our lives seems to be the ever-elusive dream for many of us.  Trying to balance home, work, health, spirituality and free time seems almost impossible.  It is something that businesspeople have told me for years.

Well, I am pleased to tell you that I believe I’ve found the answer to creating balance in your life.   Are you ready?  Write this down. Here it is:  Forget about balance, you’ll never have it!

I can hear you now . . . “What?!  No balance?!? That can’t be!  It’s just not right!” But wait . . . there IS good news.  Although I don’t think balance is possible, I do believe you can create harmony in your life.  This differentiation is more than just semantics.  It is a critical approach to looking at life that can free you up to see the world in a different way.

“Balance” assumes that we spend an equal amount of time in all or most areas of our life.  It is like the image of the scales (see the picture at right) where everything is completely in balance and equal.  It assumes that we must spend a certain portion of each week devoted in some equal measure to every item important in our life.

Well, the problem with that is that almost no one can really achieve that.  Especially entrepreneurs, professionals and salespeople.  We tend to live such hectic, busy lives that it is incredibly difficult to fit it all in.  Women often tell me that this issue is an even bigger problem for them.

So what do we do about this?  For me, it’s about creating harmony.  Just look at the image representing harmony  in this blog (see the yin yang symbol at right).  Even the image is lopsided when you look at one aspect at a time.  But it is the whole that feels complete.  This is a way to look at the issue that has personally worked for me.  Sometimes I work crazy, long hours for several days in a row.  Or I may be on the road traveling for business for many days at a time.  On the other hand, I am a husband and a father.  I need and want to be there for my family as well as have time for myself.  Long ago I figured out that daily balance is almost impossible.  But I found I could create harmony using a few core principles.

First, three simple words make a big difference to me: “Be here now.” Wherever you are, be there.  If you are at work, don’t think about the time you did not spend with the family the night before or what you should be doing with you significant other right now.  When you are at home, don’t think about the work you have to do at the office.  Wherever you are, be there . . . fully and completely.

Second, make sure to set aside time to do all the things that are truly important in your life. Yeah, I know everyone says that, but here’s my twist:  Be creative about how you manage this. For example, when I wrote my first book I didn’t want to be holed up in my office writing in the evening and not be available to my family.  I found a creative way to find that time that was in harmony with my family time.  A few evenings a month, I’d stay up with the family, put everyone to bed and then go into my office and start writing at 11 p.m. and work almost all night on my manuscript.  I’d catch a few hours of sleep and get into the office a little late to start my day.  I’m a late-night person and this worked for me.  It may not work for you.  However, my point is to be creative and inventive in finding ways YOU can accomplish what you need to do, yet still allow yourself to spend time doing the other things in your life that bring you harmony.  Nothing pleased me more than when I showed my children the book when it was published and they said to me . . . “When did you write that?!” They had no idea I was up late working several times a month.  That was harmony to me!

Third, find ways to integrate various elements of your life. For many years, I have spent weeks at a time up at my lake home in the mountains.  Each year, I spend a week or two working from the lake house remotely.  Now I bring up my staff and management team for short retreat/workdays.  It is a great way to combine my work life into a leisure environment.   Then, the last week or so, I take off COMPLETELY and spend time with my family.  By integrating my two worlds, I create a sense of harmony.

Last, remember this: when you are 70 years old, you are not going to wish you spent more time at the office. You don’t need to be a workaholic to be successful.

Focus on creating harmony in your life.  Be creative.  Don’t try to do the things I do or that someone else does.  Find ideas that work for you and the life you live.  Make the time to do the things that are important to you and be innovative.  Harmony is created where harmony is sought.  OK, that’s a bit “new age” sounding . . . but it is true.

I’m very interested to hear what you think of this approach and/or what do you do to create balance in your life.  Leave a comment and let me, and others reading this blog, know what has worked for you.

Have you ever wondered if men and women approach networking differently?

Well, I have. I’m actually in the process of gathering information to write a book about it with my friends Frank DeRaffele and Hazel Walker. A huge part of the book is going to be based on the findings of a survey we’re currently conducting. It’s the most comprehensive survey on gender and networking ever conducted, and we currently have 7,800 responses–which means we’re almost to our target of 8,000-10,000 responses!

The online survey only takes a few minutes, and I’d love to hear your opinions on Networking and the Sexes before the survey closes. You can rest assured that your opinions and comments are greatly appreciated and will be kept completely confidential; however, if you’d like to come back and leave a comment about what you thought of the survey, I’d be really interested to hear what you have to say!

If you live in Africa or South America, we especially need responses from people in those countries, so I’d really appreciate it if you’d take a few moments to participate and encourage your friends, family, and co-workers to participate as well.

CLICK ON THE FOLLOWING LINK TO JOIN THE SURVEY NOW: http://www.SurveyMonkey.Com/s.asp?u=204762616512

Thanks!